How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
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He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
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I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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