Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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