With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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