She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize