He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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