I got chris browned last night
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
