do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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