seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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