Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
