"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
