I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
