she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
