I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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