Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
