what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
