we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
