Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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