I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
