Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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