in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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