So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
