Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You ruined the universe
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
