when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize