no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
