Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
