i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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