Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
