Porn is love you can see.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
