Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If I die, sorry about rent.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
