Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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