I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
