He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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