I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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