oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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