I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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