Me. At least after what I've been through.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
