Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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