did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
