so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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