Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
