would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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