I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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