Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
