her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
