hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
