booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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