Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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