I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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