Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we have pet lesbian snakes
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish I could teleport
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I got chris browned last night
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
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