she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
