youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
