Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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