butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
