Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
