So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
