i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
