i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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