The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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