I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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