it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
