Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
