you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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