if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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