Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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