the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize