Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
