So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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