you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
