Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
