I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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