Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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