he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
