i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
